I used to brush off fortune-telling as a sham that preys on people’s weaknesses, and I’ve never given any serious consideration to it—until I tried it myself.
I was going through a bit of a slump, so I decided to give it a try. Instead of turning to a productivity book as I usually do, I booked a “counseling session” with a fortune teller. I didn’t have any high expectations, though. I thought, “They just say things that are generally true and make you feel special.”
I came across a bio of a so-called “fortune-teller-life-counselor” on an online platform that helps find a match with an expert advisor in various fields. Her credentials included a psychology degree and experience in corporate coaching, which made her seem more credible compared to others. Seeing that she was one of the highest-paid experts on the platform, I decided to give her a shot at the rate of $50 for fifteen minutes. Curiously, though, she listed clairvoyance (the magical ability to gain information beyond sensory contact) in her bio too.
We got connected on the phone. I was expecting one of those caricatured fortune tellers with a crystal ball who speaks in a calm, hypnotic voice. Instead, a woman in her 50s with a lively, animated voice was on the other side of the line.
So, what was her groundbreaking advice that would help me to get out of my slump? “Exercise.” Really, that was pretty much the gist of what she said. Did I really need to pay $50 for something anyone could have said?
Normally, this would have been a rip-off in my book. But I did not have buyer’s remorse afterward. I walked in as a skeptic, and yet I walked out with a smile and a renewed sense of optimism. What happened?
After giving it some thought, I realized what made this session enjoyable was that she had used the same psychological triggers and persuasion tactics I so often read about in business and marketing books!
It was not the content of what she said but how she said it.
Communication does not only involve an exchange of information. It is equally about an emotional transfer. And I had been reminded of that.
So, here is a breakdown of the persuasion techniques she used on me in a short span of fifteen minutes. Her incorporating these techniques in her session made me feel special.
Establish commonality
The fortune-teller-life-counselor started off by asking me my birthdate. After telling her my birthdate, she was then happily surprised to find out that we shared the same birthdate. She proceeded to talk about the personality traits of celebrities born on this date and went on to talk about how we were also meant to be great like them.
I know, you might be thinking that this was bulls**t. I thought so too. But on the other hand, the excitement I could hear in the tone of her voice made me think that maybe she was telling the truth, and she was genuinely excited by this.
For all I knew, she could have said the same thing to every client she met. She may have memorized the names of celebrities born on all 365 days of the year and some generic personality traits associated with their corresponding zodiac signs.
But her enthusiasm was infectious. I noticed that the transfer of emotions was happening already. Am I being too impressionable?
Us vs. Them
Having established our similarities, the woman dialed up on how we were special and different by invoking the “us” vs. “them” concept, which is also often used in sales tactics. She said people born under our star were smart, and we have a hard time relating to others.
Really? Or maybe most of us think we are smarter than everyone else. This is a known cognitive bias called the Dunning–Kruger effect. Most people think they are better than average.
And yet I was entertained by her words. This was not the only thing she said. She “cold read” (a quick analysis of easy-to-determine information such as a person’s age, dress, body language, etc.) and said a bunch of other things, most likely trying to gauge my reaction to see what would stick. I just nodded but did not show any strong affirmative reaction at this point.
Control the frame
When I brought up how I was in a slump, instead of asking me questions and delving deeper (which I naturally would do if I were a counselor), she said outright that I had not been exercising, which was true.
She said that from the moment we began our session, she could tell using her clairvoyance that there was something not right about the energy circulation in my body.
She explained that the excess energy from lack of exercise was now being redirected to my brain, causing overthinking and analysis paralysis. She continued saying that once I started to exercise and feel better about myself, I wouldn’t have time to be in a slump or worry about lack of motivation (every grandmother who has ever walked on earth probably has given the same advice).
There was nothing to disagree with. And she didn’t get into the details about my life, which was smart on her part. Instead, she held the frame of the conversation where she could most demonstrate her authority and bravado, eliminating the need to talk about the details of my lifestyle in the first place.
Project the future
Now that she heard me express agreement, she shifted to talking about the future. According to some horoscope reading, she said the next two years would be the best years of my life if I gave my best.
Well, any year would be the best year of my life if I tried my best.
But despite my logical brain trying to talk back, I couldn’t help but appreciate how encouraging she was. Her energy had rubbed off on me. I started to buy into the thought that maybe, I’m going to have the best time of my life in the next two years (writing that made me cringe).
Suggest urgency
She then said that 2027 would be the most troublesome year of my life, so I would need to be prepared. Did she just pull that number out of her a**, I mean out of thin air?
If something bad happens in 2027, I’ll remember what she said. If nothing bad happens, I will know I have worked hard and warded off bad fortune. Either way, she would have been right.
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So I have bought into the idea that I needed to exercise to release excess energy, which in effect, would trickle down and improve my overall productivity. And make the next two years of my life great.
When I parroted back to her, she expressed excitement, and she said she was looking forward to hearing from me in three months’ time about all the accomplishments I will have made.
Hearing her say that made me fired up. Then the skeptic in me said, “Why would a stranger come to care about me in a fifteen-minute interaction?” She has been paid to say that! My parents probably believed in me for a lot longer than fifteen minutes! They just don’t express it as much, like a stereotypical Asian family.
So, what’s the point?
My logical brain kept talking back, but my emotional brain was engaged. It’s about how she communicated, not whether what she said was true that made this session fun.
The point of fortune-telling or other forms of counseling, in my opinion, is to:
feel good about yourself and
take action.
The same can be said for reading a book or watching a movie. Being entertained is one thing (I was certainly entertained by the fortune-teller). But true change occurs when you take action. If a fortune-teller makes someone feel better and gets them to feel inspired, that’s a success.
When your emotional brain overrides, it almost doesn’t matter if a fortune-teller is telling the truth. I am motivated and less bothered by the concerns I initially had about the slump.
But if you become so attached to your fortune-teller that your fortune-telling becomes fortune-spending, then you’d be missing the point. Get help changing your state (i.e., feeling better about yourself) so that you make changes in your actions and get on with your life.
How to say, not what to say
When businesses use these persuasion tactics, it’s pretty obvious. “Only three spots left!” or “Discount ends in two hours!” is a common way to stir a sense of urgency.
But what if we incorporated these techniques into our everyday life, not just in sales? Not because we want to manipulate others for our personal gain but because we want them to feel motivated, engaged, and regain the confidence to go for their dreams. Manipulate them for their own good.
Sometimes what we need is reassurance to move toward the right direction rather than the exact roadmap. So why not be the person who reassures and motivates those around you?